I posted this on my other blog, but I feel pretty strongly about it so I decided to post it here as well.

In light of the recent vote in Maine revoking the rights of same sex couples to marry I thought I would post a little about marriage.
First of all, I feel marriage is mostly a religious institution. I was married in a church, by a pastor, and there was prayer and religious song singing and etcetera. My husband and I, though neither of us are really religious now, were brought up as such and our families and communities are. So thats how we did it. It was a good, beautiful day and we were with the people that mean the most to us and I will always remember it fondly.
But in addition to the church stuff we also had to go to city hall and get our marriage license and then take it back after the officiant signed it and get the state seal on it and now it is filed away in a cabinet somewhere. However, despite the fact that the church wedding was the "event" the city hall stuff is what made it official. Had we not been from the background we had or not cared about having the wedding, we could have just done the city hall part. No one would have asked us about our religion or beliefs of any kind and no one checked to make sure we weren't related or anything like that. My point is, it doesn't matter what you believe to the government.
So why, OH WHY, are we forcing the religious beliefs of some onto the government regulations concerning marriage? I heard a quote on NPR today to the effect of "The people have spoken and clearly no matter what politicians choose to legislate to be popular, the people do not agree with same sex marriage." Really? How does this make any sense? And since when do we leave the rights of the minority up to a majority vote??
Here's my real beef. I feel like some people NOT being allowed to marry those they love undermines my marriage. In the words of Woody Allen, "I don't want to be in any club that would have me as a member." I hate that this institution that I am a part of is discriminatory enough to keep others out, based completely on religious beliefs that I don't ascribe to. It makes me feel like my marriage is tainted.
One day same sex couples will be able to marry (I believe this because I believe in humanity and I believe that people will eventually do the right thing, just like with slavery and civil rights and women's rights) and my kids will be reading the history books and learn that there was a time in my life that these people were discriminated against for loving one another. And what will I be able to say? That I was part of that club that was saying "gay marriage undermines marriage." That I was a plantation owner of our day? I am not an oppressor, I realize that. But how am I supposed to feel when it seems like I can so easily be lumped in with those who are.
My marriage is out of love, but our government incentivizes marriage with lots of financial benefits. But we are going to disallow a significant portion of the popualtion to have these benefits, not to mention the declaration of committing to one another legally, because they are in possession of the wrong chromosomes, or because people aren't comfortable with what goes on behind closed doors. Here's a newsflash: It's none of your business. The government can't tell me who to marry and they shouldn't be able to say who I can't. Marriage won't be of real value until it's available to everyone.